This was going to start with a paragraph about how no one wants to talk about Hawke as a segue into a post about the companions in Dragon Age 2, but then a joke popped into my head about the Hawke who will always be Hawke to me, and then I fell down a rabbit hole.
I apologize dear readers, but I could not help it. It all began with a faint memory of the 80s wonderfulness that was Jan-Michael Vincent as Stringfellow Hawke on Airwolf, but then I did a Google Image search and then it was all over.
I mean, his name is Stringfellow, and HE PLAYS THE CELLO. In the opening credits of every episode, because he’s sensitive and memories are short. String. Fellow. Get it? It’s totally a real name that wasn’t just made up.
He flies a super secret helicopter. And he looks kind of like Tom Cruise and Clint Eastwood’s love child from the future who came back to save us from an evil conspiracy of people who hate secret helicopters.
Come on, the man’s resting face is smolder.
Also, Ernest Borgnine was there. As a COMPANION
I know, I know, it’s a stretch. But stick with me for a second, because. . . Stringfellow Hawke spells his name the same way as Hawke in DA2.
So. . . what if they’re related? What if Stringfellow Hawke can trace his ancestry to a kick-ass mage in the ancient, legendary city of Kirkwall? What if that’s where he gets his unwillingness to play by the rules and his concern for the little guy?
And, wait, does Jan-Michael Vincent actually have any eyes? I’m looking at all these pictures and I don’t see any eyes. Which is definitely not the Kirkwall Hawkes.
Maybe there’s still a slight resemblance? You know, in the cheekbones? Just a little? No? Okay.
NEXT WEEK: I am SO SORRY. Next week I will almost certainly write about the DA2 companions. I have notes and everything. I promise.
A slightly different version of this note was originally shared through my TinyLetter, The Playthrough, where I am currently playing and writing about Dragon Age: Inquisition. You can subscribe to The Playthrough at http://tinyletter.com/theplaythrough